Politics in Britain has become a plague, it is catching, spreading; It has seeped into my bones, become part of the fabric of my being. I can no longer leave it alone. Yet voting for Boris, Jeremy or Nicola is anathema. So I tried to join the "Monster Raving Loony party (even though I thought that a rather politically((oh the irnony)) incorrect title) but after a schedule of interviews and a barrage of tests they decided that I was far too unstable to become a party member. I was left with only two choices "The Brexit party". White, male and over fifty; I have all the requirements, alas (again) my IQ was far too high. (over fifty- excludes you from selection) or form my own party. Sadly I am too late for this election to establish a platform for the "Klingon speakers party" You will have to wait a number of years until we oil up Boris, Jeremy and Nicola and have them as combatants in the ring, fighting to the death to become my vice chancellor. It's a bummer I know. I would have registered on time had not been for that last bottle of beer.